Welcome to the Racist jokes section of Joke Abyss!
| There was this Eskimo girl who spent the night... |
Category: Racist
There was this Eskimo girl who spent the night with her boyfriend and next
morning found out that she was six months pregnant.
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| Rabbi's anniversary present |
Category: Racist
A Jewish congregation in New York honors its Rabbi for 25 years of service
by sending him to Hawaii for a week, all expenses paid.
When he walks into his hotel room, there's a beautiful girl, nude, lying on
the bed. She says, "Hi, Rabbi, I'm a little something extra that the
president of the board arranged for you."
The Rabbi is incensed. He picks up the phone, calls the President of the
Temple Board and says, "Greenberg, what were you thinking? Where's your
respect? I am the moral leader of our community! I am very angry with you
and you have not heard the end of this."
The girl gets up and starts to get dressed. The Rabbi turns to her and
says, "Where are you going? I'm not angry with you."
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| Who invented sex |
Category: Racist
A Greek and Italian were sitting down one day debating who had the
superior culture.
The Greek says, "We have the Parthenon"
The Italian says, "We have the Colosseum"
The Greek says "We had great Mathematicians"
The Italian says "We had the Roman Empire"
...and so on and so on and then the Greek says: "We invented sex"
The Italian says "That is true, but it was the Italians who
introduced it to women."
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| What do a hurricane, a tornado, and a... |
Category: RacistRating: 5 1
Q. What do a hurricane, a tornado, and a
redneck divorce all have in common?
A. Someone's going to lose their trailer...
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| How is Christmas celebrated in a Jewish home? |
Category: RacistRating: 5 1
Q: How is Christmas celebrated in a Jewish home?
A: They put parking meters on the roof!
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| What goes: Clip Clop Clip Clop... |
Category: Racist
What goes: Clip Clop Clip Clop BANG Clipidy Clop Clipidy Clop?
An Amish drive-by shooting.
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| What did the Jewish pedophile ask the little girl? |
Category: Racist
What did the Jewish pedophile ask the little girl?
- "Hey, little girl, you want to buy some candy?"
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| Jewish medicine |
Category: RacistRating: 5 0
Did you hear about the Jewish doctor who gave a patient six months to live?
When the patient couldn't pay, the doctor gave him another six months.
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| What is long, black, and smelly? |
Category: Racist
What is long, black, and smelly?
- The unemployment line.
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| A young black boy goes into the kitchen where his mother is baking... |
Category: RacistRating: 2 0
A young black boy goes into the kitchen where his mother is baking. He
puts his hands in the flour and coats his face with it. He looks at his
mother and says "Look Momma, I'm a white boy." His mother slaps him hard
on the face and says "Boy, go show your Daddy." The boy goes into the
living room and says "Look Daddy, I'm a white boy." His Daddy slaps him
on the face, too and says, "Boy, go show your grandmother." So the boy
goes to see his grandma and says "Look Granny, I'm a white boy." She
slaps him on the face and sends him back to his mother. His mother says
"Well, did you learn something from all this?" The boy shakes his head
and says "I sure nuff did, I've only been a white boy for five minutes
and I already hate you black people".
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| Two Texan are sitting in a small town bar... |
Category: RacistRating: 2 0
Two Texan are sitting in a small town bar, where one bragged
to the other: "You know, I had me every woman in this town,
except my mother and my sister."
"Well," his buddy replied, "between you and me we got 'em all."
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| A historical example |
Category: RacistRating: 5 2
A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father,
who was a rabbi, if they could discuss his use of the family car. His
father took him into his study and said, "I'll make a deal with you. You
bring your grades up, study your Talmud a little, get your hair cut and
then we'll talk about it."
After about a month, the boy came back and again asked his father if
they could discuss his use of the car. They again went into the father's
study where the father said - "Son, I've been very proud of you. You have
brought your grades up, you've studied the Talmud diligently, but you
didn't get your hair cut." The young man waited a moment and then
replied, "You know Dad, I've been thinking about that. You know Samson
had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus
had long hair."
The rabbi said, "Yes, and everywhere they went, they walked.
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| A Canadian, a Scotsman, and an Australian... |
Category: RacistRating: 2 0
A Canadian, a Scotsman, and an Australian are in a bar discussing the
mental abilities of
their wives. The Canadian says, "You know my wife must be the most
stupid woman in
the world. She went to a supermarket sale and bought $900 worth of
meat, and we don't
even have a freezer! The Scotsman says, "That's nothing! My wife went
out last week
and bought a brand new $30,000 car, and she can't even drive! Not to
be out done, the
Aussie says, "My wife is a lot dumber than that! Last week she left
for a two week holiday
in Paris and I saw her pack 20 condoms! Hell, she doesn't even have a
penis!"
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| The Frenchman and the Italian... |
Category: RacistRating: 1 0
The Frenchman and the Italian were in the woods hunting
together when suddenly a voluptuous blonde girl raced across
their path, totally nude. "Would I love to eat that? Oui, oui!" the
Frenchman said, smacking his lips.
So the Italian shot her.
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| How do you circumcise a redneck? |
Category: RacistRating: 1 0
How do you circumcise a redneck?
Kick his sister in the chin.
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| Poor Rabbi! |
Category: RacistRating: 1 0
A young Jewish couple had only recently set up housekeeping when an
unfortunate incident occurred.
Early one morning, the wife, drowsy from bed, went to the toilet
for the morning's relief, and neglected to notice that the seat was up.
When she sat, she kept going!
She was just the right size and shape so that she became jammed
into the toilet past her waist with her legs sticking straight up in
front of her.
She cried for her husband, who rushed in, and for the next hour tried
desperately to extricate her.
In this process they removed her sleeping gown, but this only left her
naked and still stuck, with a particular part of her anatomy prominently
visible between her splayed legs.
Finally, the couple resolved to call a plumber,
despite the embarrassing nature of their problem.
When the plumber arrived, the young man let him in, but as they were
walking to the bathroom, the young man realized that his wife was
exposed in a very compromising and humiliating way.
Thinking fast, he ran ahead of the plumber and placed the first thing he
could think of, his yarmulke skull cap, over his wife's exposed
privates.
The plumber walked into the bathroom, took one long look, and commented:
"Well, I think I can save your wife, buddy, but the Rabbi's a goner."
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| What did the mongoloid say to his dog? |
Category: RacistRating: 3 3
What did the mongoloid say to his dog?
Downsyndrome!!
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| What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? |
Category: RacistRating: 2 2
What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish
funeral?
One less drunk.
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| How do Redneck mothers know when their daughters are having their period? |
Category: RacistRating: 1 0
Q: How do Redneck mothers know when their daughters are having their
period?
A: Their son's dicks taste funny!
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| If a couple from Tennessee get a legal divorce... |
Category: RacistRating: 1 0
If a couple from Tennessee get a legal divorce,
can they still be brother and sister?
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